Dealing With Emotional Block

All writers suffer emotional stress from time to time. Some get through it fine but for others it can be devastating. The three top emotional stressers are the death of a loved one, the end of a long-time, loving relationship, and the onset of major physical problems. But there are many more. Dealing with any of these requires a full-time effort. Even the most creative person cannot work when such heavy burdens settle in.

For even the most emotionally stable of writers, dealing with difficult emotional situations can place a lot of stress on the creative process. Being creative is work. If you’re having toruble thinking that indicates impeded flow, just like the flow of water through the pipes in your house. If something blocks the flow, nothing comes out at the other end.

The creative process is more than what you write. There’s also a part that happens invisibly, under the surface. That’s when your senses perceive the world around you and your heart and mind are thrown into dissonance. That’s when your soul stops responding.

Normally, your creative response doesn’t just pour out of your head. There’ s no such thing as pure expression. You formulate, strategize, order, and then articulate. It’s only that last part—at best about 25 percent—that shows as output or progress.

The sudden death of someone close to you can put you under a great deal of stress. Know from the start that the period of grieving will last from one to two years. Life gets better as the days pass by, but you will have to deal with it. It you find you’re unable to cope, get some grief counseling or join a support group.

Divorce can be traumatic, especially if your spouse has been having an affair. The main emotional trauma to deal with here is personal rejection by someone you’ve trusted, followed by self-doubt. When any long-term relationship ends—even one with a publication or one of your editors—you also need to grieve. While the process is as prolonged as when someone dies, it’s grieving nevertheless.

The sudden onset of an illness or a medical condition can be life changing. Besides medical care, what’s needed here is a lifestyle change. It may be that all the stress you’ve put yourself through as a writer finally catches up to you, causing your body to fail. If your medical condition can be dealt with, you’ll be able to go through rehab. And while that may get your body back in shape, you’ll also have to go through mental rehab. Severe or prolonged illness often brings on depression. Get help if you need it.

Another stresser is a perceived or actual lack of financial support. The cliched image of a starving writer working in a one-room garret is fiction. You need to have some sort of income otherwise your body won’t be in the best shape to create anything. You may have to face up to getting a part-time job to bring in enough income to eat and pay your bills.

Repeated rejection leading to making you doubt your ability as a writer can also lead to major stress. For some people, this is the primary cause of stress throughout their writing career.

So what are some ways of dealing with all of the above?

• First, get enough sleep. Your body, including your mind, works better when you have enough rest. Sleeping an extra hour can make all the difference.
  
• Cry. Yes, have a good cry. If the situation is that bad, you’ll get some emotional release by crying. If nothing else, it will make you feel better. But don’t let yourself get mired in the black hole of depression.
  
• Get support from family and friends. Tell those you trust what’s going on. While they may not be able to physically help you, they can lend moral support.
  
• Surf the Internet. See what tips you can find to help you deal with your problem. 

When faced with a decreased flow in productivity, many writers seek out the device or method to use to quickly raise production levels instead of asking themselves what might be interfering with their creative process. Let’s face it, most people today look for the easy way out. But there’s no easy way out of any of the above stressful situations. The best thing to do is just deal with it. 

Do You Have a Support Network?

Everyone needs someone to cheer them on. Everyone needs someone to pick up the pieces when things go wrong. Everyone needs someone to be there to help them over the rough spots. Even writers. Especially writers.

Writing is a lonely profession. But even though you have to be alone to write, you don’t have to write in a vacuum.

Nobody really writes alone, without the support of a partner, friend, neighbor, dog, agent, local bookstore. Who is in your support network? Who do you depend on to give you a lift when you’re down? Who do you turn to dump on when you get a raw deal from an editor or publisher?

If you don’t think you have anyone to support you, make a list of the people who can help you make it happen. Let’s start with your family.

If you live alone, are the members of your immediate family on your side. Do they ask you how your writing is going or do they constantly ask when you’re going to get a “real” job? Do they read your published work? Why not give your parents or siblings copies of your books, short stories, or articles. Books, especially, make great gifts.

If you’re married or live with a partner and have children, does that person allow you time to pursue your writing without feeling guilty? Can you and your spouse or partner agree to one kid-free night each? Can you trade or pay for babysitting services in your neighborhood?

Do you have any friends, and if so, are any of them interested in what you do? Do they ask about your latest project? Do you offer information about what you’re writing about when you’re together? Friends can be great sounding boards. They’re great for bouncing off ideas for new writing projects, and they’re great to unload the bad things that happen. Sometimes, a spouse or partner can be your best friend, but often a writer needs to speak with someone with whom they’re not in an intimate relationship.

And even pets can offer good support. You can talk to your dog or cat and pour out your guts, and neither will talk back. They’re always there for you, especially when you’re feeling really down.

If you’ve published books, one of the best forms of support can come from local bookstore owners. These are people who have a direction connection with readers. They hear what readers say about your books and can offer valuable information about how readers feel about your books.

Probably the least supportive are members of local writing groups. Unless a group is led by a writing professional or writing teacher, chances are that any support that comes from such a group won’t be sincere. In many cases, writers who tend to join these groups often are more interested in getting stroked, in hearing positive comments about their work, even f they aren’t true, rather than objective ones. A group led by a professional is more likely to provide more balanced and constructive support.

As well as recruiting your cheerleaders, you should also look at the people who distract or discourage you from your writing dreams or plans. Is there a family member who never takes your work seriously? Is there a writing buddy who spends more time moaning about the publishing industry than actually writing or providing mutual support? There’s a reason why people discourage you from your creative dreams. And the reason is them, not you.

Take time to beef up your support systems, and either reduce your time with the naysayers, or at least change your reactions to them.